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let's chase the summer and forget the world.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011!
HandWritten on; 7:16 PM

this is the first time in my life i really want to break down from all the studying, i swear, I SWEAR. i have never felt so miserable before.

i talk to people in seek for comfort, dont tell me it is okay, because you do not understand. IT IS NOT OKAY. OKAY? NOT OKAY. it is not okay when i am forgetting every single fking thing on my notes just right after i finish them. do not tell me go home and rest because i need to rest as i have studied for the whole afternoon, because it is not how long i have studied but how much i fking hell remember. I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE MYSELF RIGHT NOW.

if i ever kill myself, you would know why. its because of NUS pharmacy. does anyone really understand the kind of stress im going through right now? something i have never felt before in my LIFE. the level of stress is enormous. it is not smthg which i have a choice and i can just give up. because i fking CANT. i need to think of my STUPID CAP and how everything will pull it down and how i am going to graduate at the end of all these crap.